Polishing

Today is our 4th anniversary, me and my life partner. It's really a big one for me, not so much because of the years, but because I can say I'm actually very happy. When I started writing this blog, I wasn't sure how personal I'd make it. But this, more than any moanings and musings on life, is as personal as it gets: I'm happy. Had our big dinner and exchanged gifts. He's busy working tonight and I decided I want to write something. But reading through my old journals, I came across this entry that I wrote in 2003 while I was still working on a project in Sydney. We were only a few months into the relationship and, as was often back then, we just had one of our "long distance fights." This is why I know I am truly happy - because after 4 years, I celebrate both the good and the bad days we've had.


OCTOBER 3, 2003

This Friday night is cold. It’s 9:15 p.m., just got out of the office, had a long day that practically started on Thursday morning. Heading back to my hotel. Hailed a cab. Rode in front. Russian driver. Big fellow in his mid forties. He had the windows down and the sunroof open.

“Mind if we close the sunroof? It’s a lovely night, but I’m not feeling well.” I was freezing.

“Ah no worries...just wanted fresh air,” the cab driver said with a thick accent.

“Sorry, had little sleep last night then went through a very long day today at work.”

“Why did you have little sleep last night?” He had a simple-guy, grandfatherly air about him.

“hahaha, long story”

“Did you go party?”

“Yeah well, sort of. Had a bit of a fight, well, sort of a fight with my loved one. Went out for a drink. Needed to blow off some steam.”

“Well, you are young, you can blow off steam”

I chuckled. “Not that young anymore, went to bed at 4 am or so, now I feel like shit for it.”

“When you are young you can go party. Me, I go party. But to celebrate my 20th er...20th..." He struggled to find the right word.

“20th Anniversary? Wow! That’s huge!”

“Yes my wife and I married 20 years”

“That’s amazing, congratulations!”

“20 years, we fight 3 times a week. Sometimes 3 times a day. But it’s good, makes the relationship interesting. If I married another girl, life would be boring.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.”

“We have 2 children. One grown up now. She will be starting relationship of her own.”

“I’m at the start of mine. 3 months and we already fight like this. I hate this time. I love it and hate it!”

“But fighting is good. It is what we call it... in Russia... it is polishing. It is when you have 2 hard surfaces banging at each other until it is smooth. Better that you fight because you and your girlfriend let it out, if not it will snowball. You ever go to mountains?”

“Yeah”

“It’s snowball. If you let that happen...it will explode...and kill you all! Hahaha!” He was laughing heartily. “We men, we are like boys. It takes time for women to understand. My wife, when people ask her how many children she has, she says 3! Two girls and one husband, hahaha!”

Then we turned a corner. A pretty girl crossed the road. The cab driver laughs and comments about her beautiful legs. Then he says, “But I am very lucky.” He goes on to tell me he’s going to Hobart for the anniversary. Their big day is October 8. They’ve never been to Hobart. Neither have I.

We pulled up to my hotel. I gave him a hefty tip – after all, he’s got an anniversary to celebrate. Well, I’m claiming it from my company anyway, let’s just say it’s a happy anniversary gift from my company.

“Good night and congratulations again on your 20th!”

“And good luck to you on your relationship!” Then he drove off.


I was smiling as I entered the hotel. I got into my room and sent a text message. It starts with a big “I love you.” He’s most likely in a meeting and this is coming out of nowhere so he’s probably gonna be weirded out a bit.

But I do.

I want to polish this relationship until the rough edges go away. Or maybe it won’t. But whatever happens, it will make us shine.


9:45 p.m.
Marriott Hotel
Sydney, Australia
(I flew back to Manila the next day)