Here's something I wrote 5 years ago. When I wrote it down I told myself it's something I should keep re-reading for the rest of my life, if only to remind myself of how things can happen in the blink of an eye.
I shouldn’t have been at the Stonewall this morning. But I bumped into this guy from Newcastle that I met about a month ago and wound up hanging out with him for most of the night. We hopped from bar to bar, and at 5:30 a.m. I told him I’m heading home. He convinced me to hang around until the sun is up, so we headed back to the Stonewall Hotel – a bar we both always go to on Oxford Street here in Sydney.
It was still fairly packed with people inside, considering the sky was turning light. The Stonewall had three floors and we went straight to the 2nd floor. There were about a dozen people on the dance floor. And about a dozen or so more just standing around, by the bar, sitting on the couches scattered around. I was feeling tired already so I went for this big couch near the doorway that had a big, thick wooden back that was about five feet high. The music was good and I was contemplating whether to get up on the dance floor or buy a drink. But I was tired so I sat back and stretched my feet below the table in front of me. My companion was to my left and he did the same. There was a guy farther away to my right with whom I wondered if I should strike a conversation.
Then I heard a really loud rumbling sound. I thought it was part of the music. Then all I can remember is the ceiling crashing down. And everything went black and silent…except for moans of “Oh my God” coming from all around me.
I can’t believe I was ok. It was an old building and I don’t know if that ceiling was made of cement but it was massive. The star-shaped mirror ball hanging from the ceiling fell in front of me. There were lights on it too and most likely electric cables with it. But apart from the dust, I was untouched. The ceiling fell but the back of the couch and the table in front supported it so it gave me that “triangle of life.” And because I was slouching, I wasn’t trapped in any way. I was able to free my legs, twist and turn to my companion.
I remember my companion was bending to his side. In the dark I felt for him and checked if he was ok. He said he was fine then asked what happened. I didn’t even answer. I knew he was at the edge of the couch and I saw that there was light enough for us to crawl under the collapsed ceiling, turn from behind the couch and exit. I pushed him to just go, we should get out of there.
When we hit the stairs there were still people standing frozen in disbelief. I just bolted down. It was all happening so fast that when we reached the first floor the music was still playing and the people there were still oblivious of what happened. A bartender was running up the stairs to check. I didn’t even have time to say anything to her or to anyone. I should’ve. The second floor might collapse on the first floor too because of the weight. But I didn’t have time to pause and warn them. Within seconds we were outside. The bouncers at the door were still clueless as well.
Coming out behind us was a woman who was in a state. She kept asking if a bomb went off, did a bomb go off? It had just been a year since 9-11 and the bombing in Bali, Indonesia just happened a month before so it wasn’t too farfetched. But I didn’t say anything. I too was in shock. I didn’t think it was a bomb. But I didn’t have any explanation either.
Ten minutes later I was across the street with my companion. There was dust all over my black shirt and that betrayed that something had gone wrong. The paramedics and the police and fire departments arrived and people had been evacuated into the street. Some were on the floor crying. Some were just walking around dazed. A number were in panic looking for their friends. But most of them were just embracing and holding each other for support.
Passersby started to question us. It became a seemingly endless series of recounting the same story. It felt longer to tell it than to experience it. It can’t have been 30 seconds from the time I heard the noise to the time we got out. Some people saw the dust on my shirt and it was touching how you see the concern on their faces as these total strangers went up to me to check if I was alright.
I saw a Filipino guy I met that night. He couldn’t find his friends and he was shaking so bad that a girl was holding him and when she saw that I knew him, she told me to stay with him. I didn’t know how to comfort him except to hold him close while we walk around to see if his friends were outside already, trying to calm him down. Fortunately, he found both friends. They were shaken, but fine. One of them just went to the toilet and was shocked by what happened when he came out. It would make for a funny story later.
From where I stood, I saw the paramedics coming out with people on stretchers. I felt weak. We can only guess at that point if the ceiling collapsed or if the entire 3rd floor fell on us. I could only hope that by that 5:30 a.m. the 3rd floor would have been closed. Then I thought of all those people dancing in the middle of the 2nd floor. There was a guy in a suit dancing on the ledge by the window. There were guys and girls on the couches in front of us. There were people at the bar. I don’t know what happened to them. We were lucky we were sitting where we did. We were lucky we were by the doorway. We were lucky we weren’t just walking in at that point, or that we weren’t there long enough for either of us to stand up and dance or order a drink.
Close to 6 a.m. and that whole section of Oxford Street was closed off and more fire trucks and ambulances started coming. I saw that the lights inside the Stonewall were off which meant that they cut the cables before a spark ignited a fire. News photographers arrived. I looked for the Filipino guy and made sure he was ok. Then I decided to leave because the scene was starting to get mad.
I was an $8 cab ride from the Stonewall to home but I was so shaken that I felt I needed to walk. My companion decided to walk with me too. He was heading back to Central station to catch a 3-hour train ride to Newcastle. All we could talk about is how unbelievable it was. How the Stonewall was always packed it was lucky that it didn’t happened even an hour earlier when nearly ten times as many people were on the second floor. But most of all, we can’t believe how lucky we were. He only came here once a month or so. I was only here in Sydney for a project I’m working on. But we both always hung out at the Stonewall. That we narrowly missed getting injured is just too much to take.
We parted ways halfway to my place. He and I only really got to know each other tonight. In fact, by 2:30 a.m. we needed to ask each other’s names again when we traded phone numbers. It was lucky we were together. If either of us were alone, we would probably be standing by the wall instead of sitting on the couch. If we didn’t meet, we’d both probably spend the whole night at the Stonewall and would be up dancing until morning. Or maybe we’d both be home, but who can say? There was nothing dramatic when we parted. We just shook hands, checked if each other was ok, and promised to keep in touch though we knew we won’t.
I sent text messages to all my friends who knew I frequented Stonewall in case they hear about it and worry. Then I called my Mom (at 3:30 a.m. in Manila) to be the one to break the news in case she sees it on TV. Afterwards, I couldn’t sleep. I took a bath to wash out the debris on me, then I dressed up to go to Church. I was starting to get overwhelmed by the realizations that I could’ve been injured or worse, I needed to go.
My friend Mets got my text message at around 9 a.m. and volunteered to go to Church with me. When I saw her I hugged her and almost broke into tears. That day, everyone who knew started messaging me or calling. I met with some colleagues and their embraces gave me comfort. Even my Mom called again to check – I think she was in a daze as well getting my message at 3 in the morning.
Mets and I went to the beach to help me clear my head and calm down. When we rode the bus back, it was all back to normal and it seemed that the whole incident was so surreal it couldn’t have happened. Until the bus passed Oxford and we saw the Stonewall cordoned off by the police.
That afternoon, I heard in the news that 18 people were injured but fortunately nobody was seriously hurt. The ceiling of the 2nd floor collapsed but not the entire 3rd floor. The landlord claims that even though it’s an old building, city inspectors check the place regularly. I’m inclined to believe him since inspectors would probably check if the floor is safe, but who would have thought that the ceiling would give way? Apparently city engineers are now investigating the cause.
It is now 9 p.m. of Sunday, 15½ hours after the event, and I have had only an hour’s worth of sleep since I went to bed Friday night. I just wanted to write all of this while it is all still fresh. I’ve recounted it all so many times already but I can’t stop from talking about it. The truth is, I need to unload.
Meanwhile, I go to bed tonight with more realizations than I can write down. I am here and I am safe. Did I just get my second chance? Was this my wake up call? It all happened too quickly and too suddenly. And maybe that’s the way it goes. Whether you are religious or not, whether you believe in a higher being or just plain luck, you can’t deny how fragile our lives are and that they are not in our power to keep. The truth is you do only have now. Tomorrow is not a given. Even later is a blessing. And you can’t take any minute for granted.
November 24, 2002
Sydney, Australia
Sydney Morning Herald "Nightclub Ceiling Collapse Sparks Terrorism Scare"
Sydney Star Observer "Stonewall - What Happened?"
About a week later the Stonewall opened again and in a month I was back there and saw some familiar faces from that fateful night. And when I had my leaving party when I finally finished my work in Sydney and was going back to Hong Kong, of course we capped the night at Stonewall.
Two years ago, my parents celebrated their golden anniversary. This year, both of them turned 80. Both of them are still active and healthy. My dad still goes to work like he is years away from retiring age. My mom doesn't look a day over 60.
After the much talked about UP Film Center screening, Filipino writer-director Jun Lana's "Roxxxanne" was a hit at Robinson's Galleria. More screenings to come!