To do the climb you get all the safety precautions possible. First, you don this unflatteringly gray workman's overalls that looked like it came from a bad music video from the 80s. You had to empty your pockets, no watches allowed lest something fall while you're up there and crash into a car below. You have a cord for your sunglasses and these are attached to a hook in the overalls. And if you want a cap they have special ones that hook into your overalls as well.
Then you put on this climbing harness that has a walkie talkie and an earpiece so that the guide can talk to you and not have to shout over the traffic noise and wind. Then on the harness is a tether thing that hooks into a wire that goes all through the path. So there is absolutely no danger of falling - although it would have been interesting to attempt it because the tether had a bungee type cord.
But apart from all this, they do a
breathalyzer test on you where you breathe into this tester (the same one policemen use) to check if you are intoxicated - I was worried that after the club, we still were! You also go through a metal check in case you're a terrorist underneath the 80s pop star overalls. You also go up a simulator climb where you practice going up ladders with this umbilical cord thing and practice looking down heights in case you get vertigo or something. And most important of all, you sign a waiver indemnifying them from anything stupid you do or anything that happens to you so that in case the bridge collapses or lightning strikes or Armageddon happens you can't sue them for a cent.
And so, 10 years later, after all that preparation, you step out of their headquarters under the bridge into the real world...in the 80s pop star overalls...in a group of 10 (in 80s pop star overalls)...in public. By far, the scariest experience of all.
The climb was not that hard. Good thing I've been doing a lot of walking. Imagine a mile of hiking with a lot of ladders. We spent a lot of time navigating underneath the bridge first. You have to walk along a very loooong catwalk underneath the pillars and the pylons. You duck here and there and squeeze through very narrow passages - all of which have a yellow safety foam so you don't bruise yourself or knock yourself cold. After an eternity of that you then hit the ladders and you go up each one, one person at a time - which was kinda embarrassing because you feel all the people behind you tapping their feet waiting for you to finish.
20 years and 50 calories later, you emerge from below the bridge onto street level where cars are honking their horns as they do 60-80 kph on the bridge. And you leave them behind as you go on climbing.
Just when you've sweat most of the 70% water that is said to make up your body (and you can only wish that the person next to you had used a deodorant too!), you are about 20 feet above the street and you feel your knees wobbling because as you look down at each step of the ladder, you see the street receding faster than my hairline.
And then heaven have mercy, you are at the arch! Finally you are horizontal again - or somewhat. It's a gradual climb from there but no less exhausting. Now the sun has found you and there is no shade at all. The wind blows occasionally but for the most part, the overalls felt like aluminum foil baking the juice right out of you. I can feel my face turning browner and browner and I was worried - last time I looked at myself in the mirror my farmer's tan was so bad that it looked like I had someone else's torso.
But then, at least you have the view. You're about to go twice as high as the tip of the Sydney Opera House now. The Harbour below was shimmering gold and blue. It was a fantastic morning with blue skies and almost zero cloud cover. If not for the haze caused by the bushfires, you can see to the ends of the earth from here.
And so up we went. The curve itself is 503 meters long and we would hit the halfway point before we go across from the eastern side of the arch to the west and head back down.
The tour guide was great, she had all this trivia about the bridge. Its history, fast facts, some anecdotes, etc. Interesting but don't ask me to repeat them. Apparently, during construction one guy fell into the water - which at that height would be like hitting concrete - but he survived because his tools fell before him so that broke the water, and he pointed himself feet first like a diver. He was found unconscious with 2 broken ribs...lost his hearing....and the impact on his feet were so bad that the soles of his boots had to be
surgically removed from his feet. Yikes. So if you want to commit suicide over this bridge, make sure you succeed!
We stopped for photos a number of times. Unfortunately you don't get to carry your own camera so it was all the tour's cameras and you had to buy the photos off them when you come down.
As we went higher the breeze started to cool so I wasn't as hot (or cranky) anymore. For a while, my friend was looking worried. I had my growling face on already and looked like I was about to bite the head off the next person who dared smile at me...or at anything for that matter.
When we hit the summit, 134 meters high. We were right below the gigantic Australian flag, the view wasn't as spectacular really because there were so many obstructions: a beacon, the flagpoles, the workers' tower. But the thought of making it to the top was awesome enough. It took us about 2 hours to climb it, and I feel like I can take on the world now! Apparently the oldest person to do so was a 100 year old woman! And the youngest was back in the 70s when one of the workers took his 2 year old child up unbeknownst to management - and after retiring he sent a copy of the photo to the bridgeclimb company for their records.
And speaking of unofficial, there was one morning when the inspectors went up at 5:30 a.m. as they always do, and what did they find at the very top of the bridge? A grocery cart. And what was it full of? Beer bottles. And what else did they find flying high on the mast? Hot pink underpants. How on earth they managed to haul up a grocery cart full of bottles (and possibly without underpants!) nobody knows. It's the next biggest mystery to who killed JFK.
And so, more photos up the summit. I had a solo shot with my usual Perci-with-his-tongue-out-looking-like-Beelzebub pose. Under the beacon (which is called "Blinky Bill") they told us to make a wish. Naturally, I wished for world peace (yeah right.) We did the complimentary group photo and I was right in the middle. The usual arms out and everyone say "Lesbian!" (...just kidding about the lesbian part, I think we said "Sydney" or something corny)
Then we started our way down, which took another 20 years. On our way there were groups in various stages of the bridge. The first group starts at 7:30 a.m. and it goes into the night til about 8:30 p.m. I think.
They do monitor the weather and when there is an electrical storm in the vicinity they figure a big metal object above water probably isn't safe so they evacuate. They don't call it off for rain but I'm sure it isn't a pleasant experience -- and I don't think an umbrella would be a good idea. I don't know if they call it off for hail but that would be even more unpleasant I believe.
Before long, we were climbing down the ladders - and that proved twice as tricky as going up. Then more ducking and squeezing through the beams again. When we finally hit the street and I removed the tether thing, I felt my knees wobble as if it was so used to walking a narrow catwalk (or maybe that's just the supermodel in me, hah).
By the time I removed the unflattering and now very sweaty overalls and put on my normal clothes - which are also very 80s anyway so I don't know what I was moaning about - it was about already about 12:30pm.
It was good to be in an aircon room. it was good to be able to get a drink. But above all it was good to be able to go to the toilet! Got my photos and paid a fortune for them. But I look at it and I smile. Not sure if it was worth the price, but definitely worth doing. I'd dare say it's worth beating a hangover for and waking up at such an early hour on a Sunday morning.
On the way, the girls behind me were chatting about the symbolism of this in
their lives. Oh, I'm sure if I think hard enough I can make one up. Yes, I would go for it again. Someday. I'd like to go up shortly before dusk and summit by night, that would be awesome. Unfortunately you'd probably climb up with a lot of bats flying too, but let's worry about that later.
Meanwhile, I've done it, got the photo, got my "i did the bridge climb whoopeedooo" certificate, didn't quite buy the t-shirt (they're ranked up there with the overalls if you ask me). Now Phylis left to do some more sightseeing and here I am at the office on a Sunday afternoon. I caught an hour's sleep on the office couch and now I'm pumped and at my desk again. Played hard, rested well, now back to work.
8 December 2002
Sydney, AustraliaClose 
After the much talked about UP Film Center screening, Filipino writer-director Jun Lana's "Roxxxanne" was a hit at Robinson's Galleria. More screenings to come!